I don't know what's going on.
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Monday, September 30, 2002
Well, a very frustrating evening. Everything about the day was frustrating actually. I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep because magically during the night my bed had changed to a water bed but only instead of water it was my sweat, and instead of the water (sweat) being inside the mattress it was all over the outside and the sheets and shit. So I was tired as shit as a result of that. And to top it off, Nate was sleeping on the couch since it was so fucking hot, and I couldn't play any video games or watch TV. Then I went to class and I didn't like that much but when I came home I didn't get a chance to watch my movie because I was called back to Seward to get my knee checked up on. Good news; it's healthy. But I still didn't get to see my fucking movie and that shit's like 3 hours long, so I'm going to have to do that tommorow. So I'm dead fucking tired and the doctor makes me wait for almost two hours before he can tell me that I'm fine, and then I have to go all the way back to Lincoln. But at least I get to watch Denver on TV tonight. Denver on TV tonight was fucking pathetic. Yes, it's quite childish to get all upset about a football game, but I think I'm compounding everything into that and channeling it through. Whatever it is, I don't really give a fuck. This is your cue to say, "Gosh Vermiel, why don't you cry about it?" WELL I AM FUCKING CRYING.
10:25 PM
The Beetle Story.
This happened about a month ago, give or take.
OK... so we'd been over at these girls' house that we party with, just hanging out and drinking and stuff, and my roommate Kevin and I were coming home at like 2 or so. We pass this house of girls that is about a block or so from us. It's one of our landlord's other houses, entitled 'Nob Hill.' Now as a sidestory, only Kevin had met these girls at a party once. He said they were kinda cool, but mostly preppy sorority types, so naturally I assumed I would not like them.
He said that they kept getting annoyed when he said he was going to paint 'Slob the' above the sign that says Nob Hill. Then I guess they yelled at our friend Richard (who is admittedly completely obnoxious once he gets going) "Hey black guy, shut the fuck up!" Which is funny if you know Richard, but it still sounds kinda mean.
OK... so cut back to present day. We drive by, and there are a couple of them on the porch with some guys. So we decide that we'll park and then walk down there and meet these girls. Ryan (my other roommate) came with us, and pretty much our whole mission was to either creep the shit out of them, or just be extremely obnoxious. I told Ryan I wanted them to say "Hey beard, shut the fuck up!"
So we mosey on over there. I'm eating sunflower seeds, and spitting them everywhere. There are three guys with them, cowboy types. I introduce myself as Gee, like most times, and this guy thinks he's going to be funny, so he goes, "I'm S." So I called him Z the rest of the night. He didn't really like me from the get go. The other two were OK, they laughed at our jokes and shit like that. We were pretty much just being goofy and stupid and they were laughing a long with us, this one girl on the steps anyway. The other one kinda just sat there on the porch not doing anything.
Well anyway, I gave Kevin my bag of seeds to have some, and instead of giving it back, he fucking throws it out into the intersection of this street. I yell at him and we both start running towards the bag. He beat me there, so I threw my Fanta can I was drinking at him and hit him in the feet, causing him to almost trip. We came back to the porch laughing, and Ryan was laughing, just obnoxious.
The one girl started to tell us to settle down and not be so loud. I sat down next to her on the steps, and I was just talking about stupid shit, when Kevin sees this beetle on the sidewalk and starts acting like he's terrified of it, yelling and what not. I started to make fun of him for being afraid of a beetle, and I told him that I'd eat it to prove that it wasn't a big deal.
So Kevin's like, "No, don't eat a fucking beetle, that's horrible." Ryan on the other hand, scooped it up and before I knew it the beetle was in my mouth. I could feel it's beetle legs clawing my tongue, so I just swallowed the fucker. Everyone was pretty disgusted, except for Ryan and Kevin, who thought it was pretty funny. I guess you'd just have to see the look on those people's faces.
Anyway, 'S' started saying that I really didn't eat it, and I was getting pretty annoyed. He was like, "Look pardner, I like ya and all, but dadgum, I knowed you didn't eat no beetle!" (didn't really say exactly that, but he was certainly hickish, with a huge chunk of chaw in his lip) And eventually, he had everyone doubtfull that I'd actually eaten it. I was really upset, because the worst part was I'd just eaten a beetle and not gotten any credit at all for it. And I told them that, I was all yelling and stuff.
So then I'm like, "I know how to prove to you I ate it! I'll fucking throw it up right here and show you it's in there." So they're all disgusted again, and everyone's like, "No, no, don't throw up." And Ryan and Kevin started to hold me back, but I went about 5 feet from their house and threw up all over the sidewalk.
And then everyone's all fucking disgusted again; there is two piles of vomit on their sidewalk. I look at the vomit, and I can't see the beetle, so I'm like, "Goddamnit! I know I fucking ate it!" You know all excited and shit. The cowboy was pretty convinced now that I didn't eat it, so he's like, "Here, try eating this quarter." So I'm like, fine, I just ate a beetle, no big deal. Well Kevin wouldn't let me eat the qaurter, and that's probably good. I don't know if that would have digested well.
Anyway, one of the guys on the porch suggests that I eat my own vomit. Well looking back on it, I don't really know why it didn't sound as fucking disgusting as it actually is, so that idea kinda took to me. So I'm like, "Fine motherfuckers, I'll show you!" I go to scoop up a handfull, and Kevin and Ryan are really trying to stop me, but finally I reach down and get a good gob of it on my hand.
They don't want to be anywhere near it, so they back off. I (yeah, I know) put some of it in my mouth, and then I spit it back out. Then I look at my hand, and what do you suppose was on the tip of my pointer finger?? None other than the fucking beetle! I got really excited, I was like, "There it is! The fucking beetle!" and I started putting my hand in all their faces and showing them.
They were so disgusted, man you should have seen their faces. The best was the cowboy. I put that up in his face, and he looked like he was going to throw up himself, and just nodded his head and looked away. I felt pretty triumphant, and started to go to Kevin and Ryan, who were back in the intersection, laughing pretty hard. I wiped my hand off in the grass, and we walked home.
In the background we could hear them talking about it. "Disgusting" "Oh my god" "What the fuck was that?" The strange thing is that I really wasn't that drunk. I mean, not drunk enough for me to really blame what I did on the alcohol.
I dunno... I mean it's pretty fucking sick, but oh well. It was fucking hilarious. We just came back to the house and probably re-told the story a few times, just couldn't stop laughing.
It was really weird, but shit, that was great. I didn't really care about those girls at all anyway. There was a hot one that lives there, but we pretty much figure that they won't be coming to any of our parties, and the sure don't want us over there. One of my friends kinda had a thing with the hot one, but she refuses to talk to him now that she learned he associates with us. He was kinda annoyed by that.I just hope I run into one of them at the bus stop.
4:53 AM
I have a feeling that I'm doing something wrong. It won't let me see my site.
4:50 AM
I was going to have sort of a story corner in guitarvirus' site, but I decided not to do that, because it was fairly easy to start my own blog, or whatever that is. I think I might be fucking something up right now. We'll see if this works.
4:48 AM
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